It’s true that my son does not look like me. It’s unfortunate (no offense to my wife, she is obviously a beautiful woman, but what man doesn’t want his son to look like him? Just sayin’..), but it’s just the way it is and I cannot take credit for my little man’s handsome face.
Want to know what I can take credit for?
His God damn temper. Jesus, it’s beginning to get ridiculous.
When he falls down, just a little stinger, and you approach him to, you know make it all better as parents like to do, he angrily turns his head away with a face like he sucked on a fresh lemon (or bitter beer face, if you prefer) and screams. Not a tiny, little baby scream. A blood-curdling Paranormal Activity scream.
You approach him to comfort him and he turns away again. Try to pick him up? Banchee scream, maybe an angry swat at your hands.
I mean look kid, I just want to make you feel better!
Turns out it’s not just when he feels embarrassed that he doesn’t want to be looked at/touched/talked to. It’s when he is told to stop doing something he shouldn’t be doing (usually me pointing my finger at him and saying, ‘Will, no no!” and him responding by taking a swing at my hand.
You little son of a…!
When he wants something that he isn’t going to get (i.e. my computer, a candle, a Ginsu knife…) and is told, “No”, he acts the same way. Sometimes it’s mild and he gets over it quickly and sometimes it’s DEFCON 1.
DEFCON 1 includes high-pitched scream, flailing, throwing himself to the floor, and ultimately (if he is close enough) a good rapid fire 2 or 3 slaps to the face.
Damn this kid has a mean temper! Where in the world could he have gotten…that…from…damn….
So to my wife,
Kimmy, I apologize. I take full responsibility for when he acts this way. Unless you deserve it, then good for him!
(Note: My temper is vastly improved from when I was younger. Though I’m sure my lovely, beautiful, child bearing wife would disagree.)
Oh hell, none of this bothers me. He can say “football” and “baseball” and that trumps his temper.