I knew that, I really did. It just became over the top when my wife left for the weekend on a romp to Seaside Heights, NJ for her best friend’s bachelorette party. She left on her own adventure straight away from work. I was alone with my son from Thursday evening when I picked him up from daycare, until Sunday afternoon.
I won’t say they were best the best days I’ve had in my entire life, they didn’t push aside the day I asked my wife to marry me (a yes if you weren’t paying attention), the day we made her acceptance legit (our wedding day) and the day my son was born, in no particular order are stand alone in my life story (thus far), but they were by far the best days I’ve had in a long time.
My cousin Eric died last year, I’ve since had two more cousins die since then. All of them young, one I knew better, much better than the other two, but it doesn’t make the loss less. It hurts me when I lose a member of my family.
The family deaths I bring up just to show that for a last couple of years my head has been, not sure how to put it, cloudy? shady? I don’t know.
These last few days quite literally breathed a beautifully fresh breeze into my head. That cloudy, shady mess has cleared considerably. It’s not gone, for my cousin Eric it will never be gone. It’s just a little more sunny up there now than it was before.
I knew I would love my son before he was born, hell I knew from the time my wife told me she was pregnant. How much I could and would feel for him then couldn’t be realized until he was born.
No disrespect to anyone else I care about and love, but this one person, my son makes me more happy than I could ever be when I am with him.
I know, trust me I know, there are times as he ages that I am going to want to just slam my head against a wall (probably over and over and over), but how can these moments and days of pure happiness be overshadowed by those times?
He’s my son. I love him more than I love myself. Some people might be surprised that I could love anything more than I love myself, shit, sometimes I’m surprised myself.
He’s perfect, even when he’s not.
So when he breaks something, gets arrested, gets into a fight, swears at me, disobeys me on an unbelievable level, just remind me I wrote this.
Oh, and get me a drink, I’ll probably need it.