The Cookie Monster crisis was running through my head because at the time I didn’t know my brother was mistaken.
After cheesy eggs and bacon and bemoaning the fact that Cookie Monster got the shaft in the parade, my brother had to head to the store for an onion or a tomato, I don’t recall which it was or what it was even for. I don’t question such things; I just go with the flow (when you have a wife that’s generally the path of least resistance).
Either way, Kell asked me if I want to take the ride with him or if he wanted me to have him drop me at my parent’s house. I chose the latter and off we went.
It can be an eventful drive with Kell as he can drop nuggets like, “I don’t stop at that stop sign because it’s stupid…” Everything was smooth this time and I arrived safely at my parent’s house.
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I got there though. You see, my mother is menopausal. Actually it gets worse, she isn’t actually in menopause yet, she is in PRE-menopause. Can’t get any worse you say? Oh yes, it can because she is in her THIRD year of PRE-menopause. Pre-, as in before the real thing. PRE. This is going to be one hell of a ride.
(Side note: Thank God I don’t live there anymore because I value my life and I’m too much of a smartass to of lived through this menopause without getting my throat slashed. I’m just kidding…mostly. I love you Mommy! :P)
(Side note #2: Yes, I am 28-years-old and call my mother, Mommy.
No, I don’t care what you think.)
So you can understand my concern.
I figured if she was having a good day everything would go smoothly, if not, make sure she is away from all sharp objects for fear of an attack.
Well when I got there she had a razor blade in her hand. I took this as a bad start.
Everything was okay though, turns out she was just cutting carpet. Yes, my mother was cutting carpet on Thanksgiving morning.
Why was she cutting carpet now as opposed to say a few days before? I have no idea.
Did I ask her this question? Hell no, she was holding a damn razor blade while being PRE-menopausal. I’m no fool.
Surprisingly everything else went rather smoothly to be honest. I mean besides my mother at one point asking my father, “Don’t you ever shut up?!” That was but a small blip. Oh and Kell and Erin (brother and sister) having a spat that resulted in people leaving.
It’s surprising that everything went so smoothly because, well…you see we happen to be an
argumentative bunch and stubborn too. All of us are stubborn bastards. We may all be different, but in that one thing we are certainly all the same.
The only people missing were my wife and son. They went out to Lockport (the Robson clan’s homeland) and from there to Ohio to surprise Aunt Ginger (Kim’s sister, Will Jr’s aunt). I missed them both so much.
Short story long, it was a great Thanksgiving with my family. The turkey was fantastic, as were all the fixings. Trust me; my mother would have heard about it from me if the turkey were dry! She’s put together a few good years in a row now ever since the debacle of 2004.
Not sure where Thanksgiving will be next year, but don’t worry Christmas Eve & Christmas will be with the Kings this year.